Dead and livin´it up
by WhiteIckyThing
Summary: Ghosts, Chaos and Mayhem at the Tendos... And a strange new girl as well! What in the world is going on?
1. Death of a weird man

Well now, here is my first fanfic and first work of fiction since I was about 7 or 8 years old.  
  
although this is a self-insertion fic (bear with me here) it is an idea I just HAD to get down.  
  
Flames will have absolutely no effect on my current form as a small icky whitish blob, so  
  
feel free to send any to me at MrAndri@Hotmail.com. Also, feel free to review as you wish.  
  
(AuthorÂ´s note: There are three changes to my character which people should be aware of. First, my eyes are green for reasons that will become obvious later on.(they are really blue, btw.) The second is that I have long hair for no apparent reason whatsoever, and the third will soon become obvious. This is an alternate version of me where I am still (Mostly) human. anyway, enough from me, on with the tale.)  
  
  
  
Slightly Disturbing productions present  
  
A ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction By WhiteIckyThing  
  
Dead and LivinÂ´it up  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: If you think that I own any of these characters then you are more out of your mind than I am, which is practically impossible. I am simply not that original. Just ask Viz Video or the great Takahashi Rumiko. And no, I donÂ´t own death either. just read my ramblings, and PLEASE donÂ´t sue me.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
A young man walked down a street full of potholes and surrounded by trees and, for some reason, a lot of ravens. The man looked up at them, wondering if it is an ill omen for the coming day. Although it was morning, the sun had not yet risen and the air felt colder than the heart of hell.  
  
The man is quite obviously a very strange person. He would seem normal enough, with long, dark hair framing a pretty normal-looking face and green eyes peering thoughtfully skywards, hoping against hope that the bloody sun will rise soon. He wears mostly normal clothing, Baggy light brown pants and a dark sweater that is partially covered by a large overcoat. Although it is cold enough to make the most heartless man keel over, It does not seem to concern him overmuch, since he makes no attempt to cover himself. The strangeness, however, is seen by the fact that he is wearing what appears to be a large cat on his head and is holding a large feather duster in one hand with the other hand in his pocket. This is a person to be avoided, and therefore was rather popular among children.  
  
He adjusted the schoolbag on his back and mutters something about cold, ravens and the lack of a driverÂ´s license as he continued down the street, unaware of the fact that one of the ravens seemed to be observing him rather intently, as if he were an eyeball ripe for plucking. Ravens are known as legendary creatures, and many srories exist about them. Ravens are said, among other things, to be able to sense the future in some way, knowing when people are to die. And right now it seemed as if the eyeball it was waiting for was just about ready.  
  
Suddenly The young manÂ´s head snapped up in attention, his eyes staring straight forward in shock. Then he screamed.  
  
"MY NAME IS ANDRI ERLINGSSON!"  
  
He then sagged down, glad that he finally remembered his identity. His memories were more of a mess these days than usual, and it normally took about half an hour to get going in the morning.He remembered that he was seventeen, Male, Weird and on his way to school. His feet had up until then been working on automatic, Being as they were quite indipendent from the rest of his body since the rebellion of Â´91. Whith that done, he continued on his way, still remembering details about himself.  
  
He knew he was Icelandic, and that was enough to nearly drive him to suicide. That country was crazy. In the middle of winter the sun rose for an average of four hours per day, making it nearly intolerable to be around at that time, making it quite a messed up place indeed. His dad was currently in hospital due to an extremely high blood pressure, and the young man gnashed his teeth in frustration. here he was, walking to school, while his father (who happened to be one of his teachers-NOT a good thing) was probably being ministered to by the hands of fine young maidens, allowed to sleep all day and not here to accompany his son to school. He thought to himself that he might be tempted to eat a lot of sugar and salt and check himself in, and then pondered that somewhere, in another universe, he already WAS in hospital and was living it up, so he should quit whining. with that bit of thinking done, he quickened his pace, glad that the nurses were taking such good care of him.  
  
It did not cross his mind once that there might be a flaw in this logic.  
  
Unfortunately, neither did the fact that a car seemed to sverve out of control in front of him and head straight for him.  
  
A loud *THUMP* was heard and Andri was out of action. His legs continued to make walking motions for a second and then stopped with a final jerk upwards. His eyes were closing, and what was left of his mind noted that he was losing quite a lot of blood. his mouth opened slightly, and his last words were heard for the ravens, trees, the rather shocked driver and any spirits and small gods that might be around.  
  
"Now THAT... almost hurt."  
  
His pain tolerance was quite high, mostly due to the fact that his mind was rather tattered due to constant use.  
  
He got up, and looked down at his mangled and slightly bloody body with some curiosity. He then noticed the feather duster, and cursed the fate that had caused an innocent tool to break. A raven landed next to the body, unheeding of the driverÂ´s attempts to shoo it away. Andri looked at it with some small amount of irritation. He then heard footsteps behind him, and turned around, and for once his entire mind focused on the person before him.  
  
She was averagely tall, with completely black hair and almost completely white skin, much as himself. She had a small tatto of a hook underneath her left eye and wore completely black and rather goth-like clothing, skin tight and reminiscent of Brandon LeeÂ´s attire in the crow, and wore a large silver Ankh around her neck. She was undoubtedly the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but it was her eyes that made him fall in love with her forever. Full of wisdom and hidden knowledge, dark with mystery and yet happy, looking at the world as if through rose-tinted glasses. And he knew her.  
  
"Ah. so IÂ´m dead," he said, absolutely calm.  
  
"Yes," came the reply, melodious and full of the joy of life.  
  
"And you are Death of the endless."  
  
"Yes again. you are pretty perceptive."  
  
"Probably because IÂ´m dead. IÂ´ve never felt this... clear-headed before."  
  
"The body isnÂ´t in the way any more."  
  
He pondered this for a few seconds, and then looked back at her, ignoring the sirens which were now echoing around the street.  
  
"Seventeen years, huh? Not a lot, though it could have been less."  
  
"You got what everyone else gets. you got a lifetime."  
  
"ThatÂ´s easy for you to say."  
  
She laughed for a moment, eyes twinkling in amusement.  
  
"Yes it is," She said, looking at the young man before her.  
  
He looked down on himself, and frowned. Then his clothes suddenly changed from his casual wear into a modest, and yet comfortable brown robe.He nodded in satisfaction, and looked at Death as he spoke again.  
  
"So, what happens now?"  
  
"That," she said, "is for you to find out."  
  
With those words, they walked off, Leaving behind a rather smug and moderately fed raven, and disappeared. An observer, other than that raven, would have sworn that they had heard the sound of wings flapping in the distance.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Three months passed without incident. Winter let go of the land and spring came back as it always does with full force, awakening the world from itÂ´s slumber.  
  
Somewhere, close to the Bayankala mountain range in the Qhuinghai province of the PeopleÂ´s Republic Of China, two men were seen, running along a dirt road, occasionally throwing small punches at each other, only to be blocked.  
  
The older of the two looked middle-aged, wore a faded white martial arts Gi, and was of obvious japanese descent. He was fat, bordering on obese, wore a pair of glasses on his face and a white handerchief on his head, trying to cover up his baldness and not having any success whatsoever.  
  
The other man wasnÂ´t really a man yet, more of a teenager, and also looked japanese. He also wore a Gi, just as faded as that of the other man, but unlike his father seemed to have no physical problem whatsoever. He was well built, and looked quick on his feet. He had black hair tied up, of all things, in a pigtail. his eyes were wider than that of the older man and were a startling sky blue color. He wore a small cocky grin on his face, which did nothing to spoil his features.He spoke up, and seemed to have no breathing problem whatsoever.  
  
"YouÂ´re getting slow, old man. You can hardly keep up with me!"  
  
The older man replied, only slightly out of breath, which was quite amazing, considering his rather wide bulk.  
  
"IÂ´m fast enough to beat you, boy. I still have a lot to teach you yet."  
  
The young man replied by suddenly sweeping his leg at the older man, which the older man evaded. Unfortunately, his opponent had been waiting for this exact thing, and with a dizzying display of speed he got hold of the older manÂ´s sleeve and threw him over his head with ease.  
  
"Yeah, right pop. you couldnÂ´t beat me in a thousand years."  
  
The boyÂ´s father got up, and yelled at the young man.  
  
"RANMA! how DARE you speak to your father like that? you should show more respect for your elders! IÂ´m going to have to teach you a lesson!"  
  
The older man took a stance opposite his son, who also showed his readiness to fight. He then spoke again to Ranma, his eyes narrowing like those of a lizard.  
  
"When we get to Jusenkyo, boy, youÂ´ll learn to respect my skill as your Sensei! That training ground will at last turn you into a true martial artist."  
  
Ranma was about to reply when something appeared on the road ahead of them. It was a person, dressed in a robe, and seemed to be oblivious to itÂ´s surroundings. The two men were shocked, mostly because neither of them had heard him coming, but also because he seemed to be slightly transparent.  
  
The figure looked up, and seemed to notice the two fighters for the first time. it reached up and removed the cowl covering its face and was revealed to be a young Gaijin fellow.  
  
Andri looked at the pair of martial artists, and took in the local sights. He had had an interesting three months. He had discovered a strange hunger soon after his death, and discovered that he couldnÂ´t feel anything at all. He found that he could lessen the impact of both by collecting knowledge. His mind had become a magnet and he seemed to remember everything that happened to him, everything he saw and did and read. He had completed his study of french and german, and had learned competent japanese, spanish and esperanto as well. He had then turned his sights to history, and then to geography. He had learned how to cook different foodstuffs from various countries and had then decided that he wanted to learn mandarin chinese, and had promptly gone there.  
  
He had, however, not experienced being seen by anyone during his studies. something was obviously wrong. Seeing the look of fear on the menÂ´s faces, he decided to break the ice and turned to the younger man.  
  
"umm... Hello There! IÂ´m frightfully sorry about this, but you two are technically not supposed too see me, What with me being dead and all. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Andri Erlingsson, freelance philosopher and weird by vocation, at your service."  
  
He made a slight bow at his waist.  
  
"And you are?"  
  
Suddenly the older of the two crouched in front of him (wow! HeÂ´s fast!) and started prostrating himself on the ground before the apparition while speaking frantically.  
  
"Please, O Vengeful Spirit(tm), do not harm me."  
  
Having said this, he took hold of Ranma and thrust him in front of the ghost.  
  
"I offer you my son, that I may live in peace."  
  
At this, Ranma shouted in surprised anger.  
  
"HEY! SHUT UP YOU STUPID OLD MAN!"  
  
He then proceeded to pound his father to a pulp. A large sweatdrop took form on the ghostÂ´s head, despite his current lack of bodily functions and fluids. Who were these guys?  
  
After the dust had settled, he explained that he had no interest in taking their souls into purgatory and asked wether either of them knew chinese. Ranma, being in better shape, answered his question and left his father to his pain.  
  
"Well, no we canÂ´t. Oh! my name is Ranma Saotome of the Anything-Goes school of Martial Arts." (He didnÂ´t want to be upstaged by some damn spirit!)  
  
"Pleased to meet you. Anything Goes, you say? That sounds interesting, original and many other good words depicting excitement about the current subject. Maybe you could tell me about it?"  
  
While Ranma attempted to decipher what the thing had just said, his father got up and pounded his sonsÂ´ head.  
  
"Foolish boy! Do not speak of the secrets of our art to some vengeful apparition! It seeks to lull you into itÂ´s confidence and then devour your soul when you least expect it!"  
  
Ranma simply reached up and threw his father straight forward- right into and then through the strange gaijin ghost. The live ones paled a bit at this developement, but recovered when the ghost laughed loudly.  
  
"If i wanted that you would probably be burning in the fires of hell right now. I can see you two were traveling somewhere. I was on my way to learn mandarin, but I might as well come with you for a while, that is, if itÂ´s allright with you."  
  
"Sure, I guess," came the answer. "WeÂ´re on our way to a place called Jusenkyou. Ya could come if you wanted to."  
  
By now Genma had been cowed into submission and quickly agreed lest the spirit would send his soul to hell.  
  
The travelled onwards, all training for the day suspended, and the two young men had ample opportunity to talk. Andri, or "Anderi" as the two living people pronounced it, quickly formed the opinion that Ranma was a brash young man, arrogant and slightly rude, but with a heart of gold underneath. Ranma, on the other hand, thought of his current companion as a VERY strange boy, who seemed to know a lot but was obviously too plain weird to have as more than an acquaintance.  
  
"IÂ´m gunna be the best martial artist in the world! I ainÂ´t afraid of anyone or anything... well, almost anything... and no one can beat me!"  
  
"IÂ´m not much of a judge about things like that, but I can see that you are at least as skilled as your father."  
  
"IÂ´m much better than that baka oyaji ever was. He could never beat me!"  
  
At this Genma promptly knocked Ranma on the head once more.  
  
"Impetuous boy! youÂ´re getting too cocky for your own good!"  
  
He then appeared to dissolve into tears.  
  
"Oh, what a cruel fate to be burdened with such an excuse for a boy as you, woe is me..."  
  
Ranma ignored this completely and walked on, while Anderi looked at him with mingled curiosity and disgust before continuing.  
  
Finally, they came upon a valley with signs showing the name of Jusenkyou in english and japanese.  
  
"WeÂ´re here, boy! get ready for the hardest training of your life!"  
  
"yea right, pop. youÂ´re never gonna be able to keep up with me!"  
  
Anderi looked at the sign and got a strange sense of foreboding. Whatever would happen here, it was sure to be interesting...  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
More Rant: Should I continue this? should I use this as toilet paper? all opinions welcomed!  
  
By the way, Death of the Endless is a creation of Neil Gaiman and property of DC vertigo. 


	2. Curses and Karma

Positive comments have driven me to continue my work, known currently as "Dead and livinÂ´ it up." I have quite a lot planned for this little ficcy of mine and IÂ´m also working another fic. Happily enough I am doing quite well at school, and have no significant work ahead, so I write while I can for the amusement of the masses. Enjoy!  
  
Flames will have absolutely no effect on my current form as a small icky whitish blob, so  
  
feel free to send any to me at MrAndri@Hotmail.com. Also, feel free to review as you wish.  
  
  
  
Slightly Disturbing productions present  
  
A ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction By WhiteIckyThing  
  
Dead and LivinÂ´it up  
  
part 2: Curses and Karma  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: If you think that I own any of these characters then you are more out of your mind than I am, which is practically impossible. I am simply not that original. Just ask Viz Video or the great Takahashi Rumiko. And no, I donÂ´t own death either. just read my ramblings, and PLEASE donÂ´t sue me.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
  
  
In the middle of China, somewhere in the Quinghai province and close to the Bayankala mountain range, three figures were seen running into a deep valley, a valley that looked as if time had not touched it for hundreds of years. More accurately, two of them were running. One of them, more indistinct than his companions, was taking the opportunity while no one was looking to glide swiftly behind the other two, not wanting too frighten them too much. After all, why would a ghost be limited to the ground? Unfortunately, exorcists and various ghost hunters seemed to think of this ability as demonic for some reason, so the undead young man was careful not to arouse suspicion. Usually he could do this unless a priest was around, but now the situation had changed.  
  
For some reason, the pair in front of him was able to see him as clear as day. This disturbed Anderi greatly, for no one had previously done that even while he read books trough the eyes of others, which had been a rather useful thing when studying history in various libraries. He just couldnÂ´t explain it. He had turned the problem over in his head for some time before deciding that perhaps it would become obvious if he followed the two men around.  
  
While he was pondering this, he watched the two martial artists spar even as they ran on into the valley.  
  
The younger one, Ranma, was graceful as a jungle cat and was capable of reacting almost instantly to any threat.  
  
"I donÂ´t see whatÂ´s so special Â´bout this place old man. It hasnÂ´t made ya any better than before. Maybe your old age is catchinÂ´ up with ya."  
  
He was also as confident and cocky as hell. His father, on the other hand, seemed to keep up with him trough sheer combat experience and tenacity. Old age wasnÂ´t that bad, really, but Genma was still no match for his son.  
  
"The real challenge is yet to come, boy. IÂ´ll make a man of you yet!"  
  
The sheer irony of this statement would soon become tragically obvious, for even as they ran on, the spirit of Anderi watching and pondering, none of them noticed the signpost to the side of the road. Even if they had, they wouldnÂ´t have been able to read it, for it was in mandarin chinese. However, if the skull-and-crossbone mark and red letters were any indication, had it been seen by any of them, perhaps they would have hesitated or at least been more cautious.  
  
As it was, they went onwards oblivious to the danger, and thus they went to meet their destiny.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
  
  
Elsewhere, another young fellow walked, hoping against hope that he would reach his worthy goal soon. He had come here to follow a dishonorable opponent and get his revenge on the man that had made him come here!  
  
He was obviously quite fixated on this thought, wandering randomly around as if he was looking for something, or perhaps as if he were lost, much like a headless chicken running randomly around. He seemed to be accustomed to this state of affairs, for he had a large backpack on his back, with what looked like a red bamboo umbrella on top of it. He looked as if he was getting increasingly frustrated, and finally decided to let his pain become public for anyone that might be watching, unlikely as that was.  
  
"RANMA SAOTOME, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"  
  
Having blown his top a bit, he obviously felt better, and seemed to be more determined than ever. Now if he could only find out where they had hidden that road...  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
A certain teenage martial artist sneezed in the middle of a kick, which did nothing to disturb his balance. What the heck was that?  
  
"YouÂ´re getting soft, boy. YouÂ´re like a girl, getting a cold at the slightest discomfort!"  
  
Before Ranma could retaliate a whispering blur passed him (and slightly through him as well) and a Vengeful Spirit(tm) was suddenly in front of him, glaring at his father as if there was no tomorrow with softly glowing green eyes. Genma looked as if he was afraid that there WAS no tomorrow for him.  
  
"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" The apparition asked with a cold voice.  
  
"Simple. Girls are weak, and thatÂ´s a fact, and I wonÂ´t have my son turn into a-"  
  
"NEVER say that near me again. GOT IT?"  
  
Genma was seriously considering using his Crouch Of The Wild Tiger, which had not been used since he and his friend had sealed the Master in a cave when the ghost suddenly changed his mood completely.  
  
"Now that IÂ´ve made that clear we should get going!" He said with a cheerful expression.  
  
Genma nearly broke his jaw falling forward in astonishment and relief.  
  
This exchange aroused RanmaÂ´s curiosity, and he couldnÂ´t help but feeling that something important might be learned here. Hoping it would be something about martial arts he got in step with the strange spirit, with Genma watching in indecision.  
  
"What was that all about? Why didnÂ´t ya wanna hear him talking like that?"  
  
"Because that was the biggest lie IÂ´ve ever heard in my existence. Girls arenÂ´t weak, Ranma. They can be just as dangerous as men, if not more so."  
  
And with these words they came to the last turning in the road, and before them lay the springs of Jusenkyo. The live ones hurried forward, failing to notice the look of shock on their ethereal companionÂ´s face.  
  
He saw death. dozens, no, HUNDREDS of springs lay here, the very air around them tingling with unseen power. And above nearly every spring lay the form of an animal. There were even some extremely bizarre ones, one which looked like a giant bull with wings, others looked mostly human except for wings or a tail, yet others looked as if they were straight out of some boyish fantasy.  
  
And to his horror he also saw the forms of at least two humans.  
  
A small man dressed in a Mao suit with a red star on the cap greeted the martial artists, and Anderi absently noted that the man, who looked like a guide, did not see him.  
  
"Here, sirs, is cursed springs of Jusenkyo, Many tragic story here..."  
  
Genma and his son obviously werenÂ´t listening as they jumped upwards on top of the bamboo poles sticking out of the springs.  
  
"I wonÂ´t go easy on you, boy!"  
  
"ThatÂ´s the way I like it, old man!"  
  
"Wait sirs, what you doing? Is dangerous to train here!"  
  
Anderi started forward, noting the crane stance Genma took, the cocky grin on RanmaÂ´s face, the protests of the guide, flew forward, too slowly...  
  
The two man have begun sparring, attacking each other...  
  
The guide seems almost to sigh in resignation as ever more fools travel to the springs...  
  
The spirit is now gliding, shouting at the two combatants to stop, seeing the opening in GenmaÂ´s defence, sees the strike, the flying fat man plomping ungracefully down...  
  
And time seemed to slow for a moment... and then...  
  
"GROOOOOWL!"  
  
"Oh too bad, sir, you fall in spring of drowned panda...."  
  
Anderi stopped in utter astonishment. in all his existence he had never vitnessed such a thing!  
  
A great fat panda bear had flown with unusual grace, taking the same stance as Genma had a moment before. In his shock he also saw that Ranma was just as stunned by this.  
  
Thus, being utterly shocked at the sudden transformation, he did not defend himself as the panda struck out at him.  
  
He flew trough the air, and once again Anderi nearly gasped in horror as he saw the form over the spring Ranma took a plunge in, and hurried over to him, unheeding of the guideÂ´s words of a tragic tale of a drowned girl.  
  
He slowed down, and looked at RanmaÂ´s look of horror.  
  
"Ranma?"  
  
Anderi never was sure just how the boy-turned-red head babe managed it, but she moved even faster then ever before, her face twisted in pure anger, all focused at a rather confused-looking panda.  
  
"IÂ´ll KILL you old man!"  
  
"Wait! Ranma, donÂ´t kill him! IÂ´ll do it later! Just calm down, beating him wonÂ´t solve anything!"  
  
And thus the chase was on, panda followed by a manic red-head followed by an icelandic ghost. How the gods had thought this one up was a mystery.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
  
  
Ryoga stood up on a cliff, resting a bit and looking down into a valley filled with hot springs for some reason. Where was that bastard Saotome?  
  
"Ranma, when I find you..."  
  
Suddenly a strange voice, sounding normal yet chilling him to the bone, rang out behind him.  
  
"Stop, damn you! IÂ´m trying to help!"  
  
Ryoga turned around, taking a ready stance, ready to counter any threat.  
  
Or so he thought. He had never expected something like this.  
  
A large panda nearly knocked him off the cliff, followed by a red-haired girl which stomped him on the head in pursuit of the panda. The only thing that had saved him from falling had been his readiness to defend himself.  
  
It would have worked too, if a flying gaijin boy with eerie green eyes hadnÂ´t rushed unheeding trough him, scaring him spitless and causing him to lose his footing.  
  
The three people didnÂ´t even notice a large splash emanating from one of the many springs below.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Anderi was getting desperate. He knew that if Ranma caught up with her father she would most likely make good her threat to kill him. Although he wasnÂ´t really opposed to the idea it wasnÂ´t what Ranma needed in her current situation. There was on thing he could do, but Ranma would most likely hate him for it. Then he once again allowed his illogic to take over his thoughts as he thought that somewhere, sometime, Ranma already hated him so it was probably alright.  
  
With that thought, he reached out and prepared to see the world through RanmaÂ´s eyes.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Ranma was absolutely focused on his goal, which happened to include a panda, a large pair of tongs, a frying pan and three white mice. He never noticed the spectral hand reaching for her-no, HIS dammit!- forehead. She (DAMN) did, however, feel the startling sensation of an alien mind entering her head and a heart-stopping chill through her entire body, and for once she didnÂ´t feel any hostility to her father at all.  
  
*IÂ´ts alright, Ranma. Calm down a bit, okay? Chill.*  
  
And now she was hearing AnderisÂ´ voice in her head. What was going on?  
  
*I entered your body, Ranma. DonÂ´t worry, it wonÂ´t harm you at all.*  
  
*WHAT!*  
  
*I said, I entered your body, Ranma. DonÂ´t worry, it wonÂ´t harm you at all.*  
  
*...*  
  
*Hey, you asked.*  
  
*Smartass. Why are you doing this anyway? Just let me kill that panda!*  
  
*What good would that do? Save him for later and tell me whatÂ´s wrong.*  
  
*IÂ´m in a GIRLÂ´S BODY, moron! WhatÂ´s NOT wrong?*  
  
*Do you feel like a girl, Ranma?*  
  
*NO!*  
  
*Then whereÂ´s the problem? I already told you that girls arenÂ´t weak. DonÂ´t tell me you believed your dad, Ranma.*  
  
*That ainÂ´t the point!*  
  
*Then what is? Calm down, Ranma. If you act or speak before you think you usually end up doing something you regret. LetÂ´s not do that, Okay?*  
  
*...Okay, Fine!*  
  
Good enough, thought Anderi. now to stall him for a little while until he calmed down.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Unlike his son, Genma did notice the ghost reaching out and was then treated to one of the most shocking sight of his life. The spirit disappeared, but what really knocked him out was the fact that his sons... well, DaughterÂ´s... eyes became green and began to glow with a soft green light. Genma wasnÂ´t going to pass this chance to escape for anything, and without a thought for his sonÂ´s plight he ran straight for the springs.  
  
He skipped about, happy at having outsmarted that demon from hell (bit delusional, ainÂ´t he?) that his son had become, and was heading for a hut he saw nearby when he noticed a small black piglet climbing out of a spring. Ah! Lunch!  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Ryoga climbed out of the spring which he had fallen into and was treated to the shock of his life when he got a good look at himself. There was no doubt now: Ranma was out to get him, and had led him here so that he could gloat over the lost boysÂ´ misery.  
  
As Ryoga Bweeed in anger he noticed a shadow covering the ground around him, and turned around to see a large panda looking at him with a disturbing gleam in its eyes, an almost... hungry look. ThatÂ´s ridiculous, pandas are vegeterians, Right?  
  
Somehow, he got the feeling that this fact was about to be tested...  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Well, IÂ´m on a roll, so expect further chapters of this soon.  
  
Should I continue this? should I use this as toilet paper? all opinions welcomed!  
  
BTW, No, IÂ´m not clinically insane, I just donÂ´t have a lot of humanity in me. 


	3. For want of hot water

Hailing from the land of the dead and writing this through a complicated and frankly disgusting use of osmosis, WhiteIckyThing (also known as furby) once again spews forth his creativity in an orange gas cloud for various people to enjoy at will. Here is the result. Enjoy!  
  
P.S. The other fic I mentioned is currently being scripted, and boy itÂ´s going to be a big one!  
  
Flames will have absolutely no effect on my current form as a small icky whitish blob, so  
  
feel free to send any to me at MrAndri@Hotmail.com. Also, feel free to review as you wish.  
  
  
  
Slightly Disturbing productions present  
  
A ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction By WhiteIckyThing  
  
Dead and LivinÂ´it up  
  
Part 3: For want of hot water  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: If you think that I own any of these characters then you are more out of your mind than I am, which is practically impossible. I am simply not that original. Just ask Viz Video or the great Takahashi Rumiko. And no, I donÂ´t own death either. just read my ramblings, and PLEASE donÂ´t sue me.  
  
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A lot can happen in one day. A new president gets elected, a local football team shows sudden talent, the world implodes and is recreated in a nanosecond. Stuff like that. Yet right at the moment such events seemed to pale compared to what had been taking place in a forgotten valley of china.  
  
In a valley of springs, cursed long ago, perhaps, by the powers that be for their own amusement, a young girl stood absolutely still, red pigtail and all, with half-lidded eyes focusing inwards in a battle of wills rarely seen, with mental dodges and blows abounding, unseen by all but the participants.  
  
*I WILL NOT STAY A GIRL! NOW LET GO OF ME, YA FREAK!*  
  
The combatants were obviously fighting for a just cause.  
  
*I wonÂ´t let you go until you calm down, IÂ´ve told you that before. And now you have to apologise too.*  
  
*SHUT UP!*  
  
The mental equivalent of a large piece of furniture smashed against the walls that limited their minds.  
  
*Hey, thereÂ´s no need for that! If it means so much to you, then why not ask the guide if he knows a cure to your condition?"  
  
*I AINÂ´T LISTENING TO... Huh? Watcha talkinÂ´about?*  
  
Anderi mentally winced at RanmaÂ´s vocabulary, and then continued.  
  
*Well, he obviously knows this place, so he should know a thing or three about this... well, curse. Maybe he can help get rid of it.*  
  
The young manÂ´s spirit almost collapsed exhaustedly into the subconcious with relief when he saw the pigtailed martial artist actually considering his suggestion. Now that was a quick piece of thinking!  
  
*Well, okay, we can try askinÂ´ him, but then youÂ´re toast!*  
  
*Ranma?*  
  
*Yeah?*  
  
*ArenÂ´t you forgetting something?*  
  
*Like what?*  
  
*You still havenÂ´t apologised.*  
  
*...Anderi?*  
  
*Yes?*  
  
*Shut up.*  
  
*Okay.*  
  
This exchange being over, Anderi released his mental hold on Ranma... and was, as seemed to be the case a lot today, stunned once more. This DEFINETLY wasnÂ´t supposed to happen.  
  
He stood there, Ranma getting rather impatient inside his... no, wait, HER... mind. a gentle breeze startled him. Her nose took in the smell of nature, and she bent down, trembling fingers gently touching the grass. There was no doubt now; She actually felt the touch. Incredible, the spirit thought, and marveled at the feeling of amasement that coursed through his current form.  
  
This may not seem much to the average person, but a ghost has no sensation or any real emotions. The only sensations were those almost felt through memory or intellectually. After all, you need a body to properly posess such things. And now it looked as if RanmaÂ´s body was proving receptive to his soul. This wasnÂ´t even supposed to be possible.  
  
Anderi was, in short, seriously fascinated by this medical miracle. He had never really managed to manipulate a person before in such an overt manner, perhaps at most managing to twitch a finger through subconsious manipulation. Seizing a personÂ´s mind was a lot easier and usually worked far better anyway.  
  
Ranma had suddenly started yelling, shocking the spirit back to the problems at hand, and it swiftly relinquished control to Ranma before leaving the body.  
  
"Sorry about that. I, uh, sort of got sidetracked."  
  
"About damn time. Now lets go find that guide."  
  
Anderi shook his head as he walked behind Ranma. Following the boy and his father was turning out to be far more interesting than learning chinese. He smirked as he thought of what might happen next.  
  
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Meanwhile, a large panda skipped past springs on his way to the guides hut, hoping that the small man would pity him for his condition and cook that delicious looking black piglet he had managed to find with his cunning and skill.  
  
He had conveniently forgotten that finding the pig had been a pure stroke of fortune. It would soon become apparent wether that fortune was good or bad.  
  
The piglet in question, on the other hand, was utterly confused about the current situation and not really ready to comment. Just what the heck was that panda doing? Was it going to help him? Feed him? Dress him up as Donald Duck and sell him to a circus? Unfortunately, it was about to find out.  
  
The panda man skipped and jumped up to a small hut and let himself in with one practiced movement.  
  
"Oh, you is back sir. What you have there?"  
  
Genma growled a bit and handed the piglet to the guide.  
  
"Ah, sir find too too delicious piglet, no?"  
  
The pig in question squirmed a bit at that. What did that man mean by delicious, excactly?  
  
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"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH!"  
  
Ranma and Anderi looked up. This was an interesting developement. Screams of mixed anger and pain with a slight tinge of embarrasment and confusion usually are. Ranma, of course, did what humans do best and asked aloud as if it would help in any way:  
  
"What the heck was that?"  
  
Anderi slapped his transparent head with his spectral hand, then sighed.  
  
"Wait a sec, IÂ´ll go find out. Be right back!"  
  
And with those words, he flew straight up into the air and saw an amusing sight. A young naked man, which looked as if he was burned all over, was running around in what seemed to be frustration and embarrasment, as if he was wenting his temper. He then drew a bunch of clothes from... Somewhere... and quickly dressed himself before running into the distance. He chuckled a bit at the strangeness of the world and swiftly flew down towards Ranma. The red-head stood there, staring at the apparition with wide eyes, and with a start Anderi realised that she had never seen him fly before. A bit of reassuring was in order.  
  
"It was just some weird naked guy running around a bit before leaving, nothing to worry about."  
  
Ranma recovered a bit, then got angry. This guy had stopped him from killing the panda, had taken control of his body, flew around as it was the most natural thing in the world... and now he was joking around?  
  
"If ya donÂ´t wanna tell me, fine! LetÂ´s go."  
  
Anderi put on a slightly confused look, then shrugged. If she didnÂ´t want to believe him, well, so be it. It wasnÂ´t as if it had been anything important, right?  
  
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After getting back to the hut and the mutilation of a panda, the guide explained the hot water/cold water thing to Ranma, to the girlÂ´s immense relief. She constantly gave Anderi the cold shoulder, though, so the spirit decided not to tell her that there was a spring of drowned man and that it might break the curse. He was dead, and thus beyond anything that Ranma could possibly think of doing to him in retaliation.  
  
They stayed there for a couple of days, the spirit practicing lifting of real objects by turning pages in a book about the aerodynamic properties of the common seagull he had happened to find on one of the shelves in the hut. It was difficult, but it seemed to get easier the more he practiced. Genma and his son had to endure staying in their cursed forms a lot due to lack of hot water, but the pandaÂ´s problem of communication was quickly solved when the guide had shown him how to make signs appear out of nowhere, useful for showing visitors which spring was which. The spirit took this all in, even the strange style of fighting that Genma soon developed using the signs as bludgeons. After all, you never knew when such knowledge might come in handy.  
  
Some small amount of time after various styles of martial arts had been practiced and Genma had been mentally tortured a bit by Anderi for not taking care of his son (How can you call yourself a true martial artist? Oh, the fate that your son must endure for your foolishness! Have at thee!), which seemed to put the ghost on RanmaÂ´s better side for the time being, the guide told them of a village nearby that might be able to help them with their curses.  
  
Of course, they immediately agreed on going there. And once again, caution was thrown to the winds as the martial artists, the guide and the ghost went onwards, not bothering to ask the guide about the local customs in sheer ignorance of common sense, which admittedly was not too unusual for any of them. Of course, Anderi thought it might be a good idea but once again decided it wasnÂ´t really important, seeing as the guide could not see him and the fighters really didnÂ´t pay too much attention to him anyway. Besides, Ranma still hadnÂ´t apologised.  
  
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"Here, sirs, is village of Joketsuzoku amazon tribe. Their women all warriors, and it look like they have tournament now!"  
  
Ranma and Anderi looked at the fight on top of the log, then at each other, then at the fight again. Then they both voiced their opinion rather loudly, for it was extremely important that the world learn of this.  
  
"ThereÂ´s NO WAY in HELL that THAT thing is a WOMAN!"  
  
Indeed, the... thing... in question looked a lot like, say, Arnold Swarzernegger or Sylvester Stallone in a dress. His... er, HER opponent was far more pleasurable too look at: a petite chinese girl with purple hair. The companions took a seat to watch, and were both slightly surprised and immensely relieved when the small beauty won easily, kicking the monstrosity off the log. Anderi was looking around with interest, but not before stopping Ranma from eating the food there. It looked as if it was somehow important. Unfortunately, the panda they had with them had no such inhibitions.  
  
Ranma was therefore surprised when the purple-haired girl landed in front of her and began jabbering at her in chinese.  
  
"She say your panda dishonor her by eating first prize in tournament. She challenge you to fight."  
  
Just as Ranma was ready to answer, a panicked shout from Anderi stopped him short and he turned to see some sort of gnome attempting to capture the ghost using little strips of painted paper with strange writing on them.  
  
"That isnÂ´t the only dishonor here," she *crowed*, "For they have also brought with them a spirit from the land of the dead!"  
  
Angry mutters were heard from the predominantly female crowd at this bit of news, and Ranma decided, after a puppy-like pleading look from the spirit (Has he no shame?), to meet the challenge.  
  
"I accept the challenge. if I win, the food is ours, right?"  
  
Anderi cursed Ranma rather volubly, saying something rather rude about dogs and the resting places of his ancestors, and Genma silently praised his son.  
  
"Oh, and weÂ´ll leave with the ghost as well. Watcha say Â´bout that?"  
  
Anderi praised Ranma and his family unto the third generation with blessings and hopes for long lives and prosperity, and Genma growled in disapproval.  
  
The young girl listened tho the shrivelled little thing translate, then answered. Then the walnut-faced thing turned to Ranma.  
  
"My great-granddaughter, Xian Pu, accepts the challenge. to the challenge log!"  
  
The fighters jumped up onto the log, and prepared to fight.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
  
  
Xian Pu evaluated her opponent, noting the relaxed stance and ready posture. The outsider girl might be skilled, but she didnÂ´t look as if she would be too tough. A single decisive strike should be enough to show her what a real fighter was!  
  
She hefted the bonbori that were her trademark weapon with consummate ease, and struck at her opponents midsection, hoping to knock her off the log. Her opponent, however, was far better than Xian Pu had originally thought, for she evaded the strike with startling speed and in a single strike knocked the bonbori-wielding girl far off the log.  
  
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The spectators were stunned-that is, all but a certain ghost and panda. the old ghoulish thing, which had been determined to be female (What is it with this village and horribly ugly women?), immideately released the spirit, giving it one last hateful look before hopping over to her scion on her staff, and saying a warning.  
  
"We do not tolerate aberrations of nature such as you, thing. consider yourself fortunate for now, for when next we meet, I will destroy you."  
  
Anderi shuddered at the gravelly voice. It wasnÂ´t the first time he had heard such threats, of course. This woman was nothing compared to a certain other hunter he knew...  
  
Meanwhile, the young woman that had been defeated woke up from her slight knockout, and stared in shock at the other woman in front of her. She then made a drastic desicion.  
  
Slowly, she got up and looked the outsider in the eye. She was the champion of her people and would one day be a matriarch of her tribe. She would not be humiliated by some weak outsider.  
  
She smiled a feral smile, and slowly, with all the portent and surety of a large boulder rolling down a hill towards your new Ferrari, kissed the stranger on the cheek.  
  
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Ranma was completely stunned into silence for once in his life. What the hey!?  
  
She watched the strange girl draw back from the kiss, and suddenly realised that the crowd had gasped in astonishment- or, perhaps, in horror. He then saw the gleam in the girlÂ´s eye and decided that she wanted to be somewhere else. Like right now!  
  
"Oh no, good sirs, she give you the kiss of death!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"HEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAA!"  
  
"LETÂ´S GET OUT OF HERE YOU GUYS!"  
  
Anderi flew after Ranma and the panda, looking behind himself to see the psychotic little biddy chasing them out of the village. There just didnÂ´t seem to be a quiet moment with Ranma around. As they ran on, he decided that Ranma would probably require companionship for a little while (other than his fatherÂ´s, that is) and besides, Ranma had yet not apologised to him for calling him a freak.  
  
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More Rant: Should I continue this? should I use this as toilet paper? all opinions welcomed!  
  
Well, another chapter, another nugget of my quite diseased imagination for your amusement.  
  
I am grateful for the positive criticism I have gotten so far, it almost makes me feel human.  
  
Do continue to review this, and tell your friends, for I wish i knew where you lived. Ciao! 


	4. Of Icelandic poetry and other forms of t...

Now we are going to see some REAL effects Anderi has on his environment. This is also a bit longer than the other chapters, for various reasons. Once again, thank you for the many positive comments I have gotten for my work. Oh, and do check my other work as well, Im told its rather interesting. For some reason. I mean, no one tells me that I am interesting damnit! Grr!  
  
Ahem.  
  
Flames will have absolutely no effect on my current form as a small icky whitish blob, so feel free to send any to me at MrAndri@Hotmail.com. Also, feel free to review as you wish.  
  
Slightly Disturbing productions present  
  
A ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction By WhiteIckyThing  
  
Dead and Livinit up  
  
Part 4: Of Icelandic poetry and other forms of torture  
  
Disclaimer: If you think that I own any of these characters then you are more out of your mind than I am, which is practically impossible. I am simply not that original. Just ask Viz Video or the great Takahashi Rumiko. And no, I dont own death either. just read my ramblings, and PLEASE dont sue me.  
  
["..."] =foreign language  
  
#...# =panda sign  
  
*...* =telepathy  
  
+"..."+ =Anderi speaking in front of people that cant hear him  
  
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Ages come and pass in a neverending cycle of life and death, carried onwards by a great wheel of time. This wheel spins the pattern of ages, and weaves the fate of all. In one way or another, everyone is aware of this, even if only on a subconcious level.  
  
And on the shores of china, near the lowest part of the coastline, a young red haired girl was unconciously, as well as silently, wishing that the wheel would bloody well weave the obnoxious spirit in front of her out of the lines of fate as soon as possible, thank you very much.  
  
["Aaaaiiiiiiiii am a maaaaaan of constant sorrooooow, Ive seen troooooouuuuuble all maaaii days..."]  
  
A large and rather irritated panda was holding up a sign as it wrote on a small postcard which had, amusingly enough, a picture of a panda on it, and was obviously trying to concentrate. He failed.  
  
#Could you stop doing that?#  
  
"You two are just a couple of jerks. I mean, Its the Soggy Bottom Boys for crying out loud!"  
  
"I still say ya sound like a constipated duck."  
  
"Hey, thats my expression and you know it!"  
  
"Youre the one who told me ta be more inventive with insults."  
  
"Oh, go stick your head in a bucket of mud, you malodorous pile of monkey muck."  
  
As Ranma attempted to get this little mindbender through her brain, Anderi decided to lighten the mood with a song. It hadnt worked yet, nor was it technically possible since Ranmas description of his singing ability was pretty much one hundred percent accurate, but that wasnt about to stop him. Just because things are impossible doesnt mean they cant be done... or at the very least attempted.  
  
Repeatedly.  
  
With a big smile on his face, he whipped up a spectral banjo out of nowhere, and was about to begin singing some masterpieces by Leonard Cohen when Ranma pulled out a spirit ward out of nowhere and waved it threateningly under the spirits nose. The ghost suddenly began, in defiance of all the laws of physics, to sweat profusely, putting his hands in front of himself in a classic defensive maneuver.  
  
"Hey, come on, at least its not Icelandic poetry, right? Theres no need for drastic measures!"  
  
Ranma shuddered a bit at the memory. THAT was something which could be classified as cruel and unusual punishment. For some reason the spirit seemed to like it rather a lot, unfortunately for everyone else around. If he sounded like a constipated duck, the poetry was a beached whale providing accompaniment and amplifying the horrid voice, which usually sounded rather melodious when he was speaking. Appearances can be deceiving.  
  
The panda couldnt help but agree with his useless son turned daughter, and was glad that she had stopped the sonic onslaught. He finished writing the postcard and stood up, going to look for a mailbox or a post office, and leaving the youngsters to their mutual torture.  
  
"Ok, how about this: I dont sing, you dont torture. Good enough?"  
  
"Whats the difference, ghost?"  
  
"Ha ha, Ranma."  
  
Anderi whipped the spectral banjo of doom back to where it came from and wished that he had never taught Ranma about spirit wards. So she had been curious about how that old crone had managed to capture him, so what?  
  
Ranma, on the other hand, was quite happy with having silenced the spirit for once, and was about to have a nap when she heard someone reaching for something in his dads pack. She looked up and saw the ghost attempting to drag a green book along the sand, obviously going to practice lifting objects again. It didnt bother her too much, so she rolled over and caught herself some Zs.  
  
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Anderi looked at Ranma, then shook his head. The kid may look stupid, and act it like a true pro every now and then, but he knew what to do when disaster struck. Case in point: in order to stop the ghosts singing, he had made a few spirit wards, with a little help from yours truly and a handy priest, and used them liberally whenever Anderi felt a bit TOO jolly. The ghost decided that perhaps a little self-control was in order, then promptly forgot about it as he looked at the book. He was getting better, the book was nearly two feet away from the pack before he had to stop, becoming mentally exhausted. Lifting things with your mind is a lot harder than it looks like, And though the ghost used his hands, they were really just a focus for him to look at.  
  
Anderi paused to read the title, but it didnt really make much sense. Just what the heck was a "Cat-Fist Training Manual" anyway? He decided, part feline that he occasionally was, that he was curious. After all, curiosity had killed him, and satisfaction brought him back, right? Besides, it was probably just some boring acupuncture chart or something. But he just had to find out.  
  
Thus, he opened the book, and lifted the first page with great effort.  
  
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Genma skipped back to the campsite, having liberated some pork rolls on his way to the post office (but no hot water, unfortunately), and was about to give Ranma a kick to wake her up when in front of him rose a great Vengeful Spirit(tm) and took hold of his body.  
  
Anderi opened his eyes, tasting a little pork in his mouth, and began to think of some appropriate punishment for the foolish man. His panda form was slightly restricting, but not quite as restricting as what he was about to do to Genma.  
  
It had been a useful thing to discover one night as an avenging amazon descended upon their position that he could command Genmas cursed form, as well as Ranmas. He had entered the body, an unsavory thought, but unfortunately a nessecary one, and if a giant panda with glowing green eyes beating itself up wasnt scary, nothing was. It would appear that since the curses were magical in nature, he could sort of "take over" for a while.  
  
As he was contemplating, ignoring the fevered and rather pathetic begging of the fat man in the back of his head, Ranma woke up, and saw a panda contemplating doing painful acts to its own body with relish.  
  
"Aw, man, what did pops do this time?"  
  
The panda picked up a green book, and held out a sign.  
  
#Look at the last page.#  
  
Ranma picked up the book, getting angry when she saw the first page, then getting close to berserk as she leafed through the book, and was red with fury when it came to the last page. She still remembered the cat-fist, but she had never known it was illegal!  
  
And thus began the mutilation af a panda, and the spirit rejoiced.  
  
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A postcard with a picture of a panda on it was being held by a man, a few days after its posting, and it carried with it a message that drove the man reading it to tears. Not that this was particularly difficult.  
  
Soun Tendo closed his eyes with elation, and called out.  
  
"Akane, Nabiki, Kasumi, come here!"  
  
"Coming, father!"  
  
"Yeah, Im on my way."  
  
Soun looked at his daughters, and decided that something was missing.  
  
"Wheres Akane?"  
  
The younger of the two volunteered the information freely, but looked as if she was not used to doing so.  
  
"Oh, shes in the dojo, Ill go get her."  
  
Nabiki walked to the dojo, the sounds of smashing bricks heard clearly all the way to the house, and she contemplated what her daddy was planning now. Whatever it was, it seemed to put him in a good mood, which of course made her wary. When a parent is planning something it often pays to be somewhere else, like maybe Okinawa.  
  
she walked up to the dojo, and looked inside in time to see her sister smash a few roof tiles with her bare hands, a wry smile growing on her face.  
  
"No wonder the boys think youre weird, Akane. Youre never going to catch a boyfriend like that!"  
  
Nabiki watched as the obvious barb sunk into her sister, and waited for the typical reply.  
  
"Not everyone thinks that the world is all about boys!"  
  
"Yeah, well, daddy wants to see us inside. I thought Id let you know."  
  
She turned to go back inside, grinning a bit when she heard her sister muttering something about hating boys, as usual. It was just too easy to tease her sometimes, and besides, she was a valuable source of income in her current state.  
  
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"I hate boys."  
  
This was a bit of a thorn in her side, and she was not wery happy about it. Akane was therefore glad that her house and home provided her with respite from this nuisance. She had a smile on her face as she thought of how it would remain so for a while yet.  
  
She was in for a bit of a shock, soon enough. The gods have an extremely nasty sense of humor, and favor irony and compromising situations above other forms of entertainment.  
  
Thus she was in a rather good mood as she sat down, having vented her temper a bit.  
  
"What did you want us here for, daddy?"  
  
Nabiki, now with a businesslike face on, went straight to the point.  
  
Soun cleared his throat, and then told them of the joyous news.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Anderi walked behind the surrogate family he had found himself, just in case a holy man was nearby with curses and wards ready. It was quite often that someone jumped him in cities, and unfortunately that someone was usually HER...  
  
He shook his head and thought happier thoughts, not difficult with the panda in front of him having one of its arms in a sling and a bandage around its head. Their last retributive strike had been slightly excessive, but highly satisfying.  
  
It was amasing how the pair attracted water. No sooner had they found hot water than it had begun to rain. It was incredible.  
  
Ranma was obviously still not satisfied with the beating they had given him through their joint venture, possibly because of the arranged marriage thing he had sprung on the unsuspecting boy. Anderi himself did not really approve, but didnt interfere with it: It was quite legal, and wouldnt be of too much consequence. If Ranma didnt want to get married, he wouldnt get married. Simple.  
  
Currently, it was raining and the threesome were on their way to the Tendo dojo. Unfortunately, Ramna had been so nice to the spirit lately, after the training manual thing, that he had decided to tell him about the cure in china. Now the boy... well, girl, didnt want anything even remotely like staying here and was determined to go back to china.  
  
He idly watched the two argue, noting the eyes following them as they travelled on. Soon enough, Ranma knocked the panda out and exclaimed that she was NOT going to get married, damnit!  
  
Anderi decided to butt in at this moment, and immediately took hold of the girls body.  
  
*You sure about that? I mean, its a long way, and you need the rest.*  
  
*Let go of me right now, Anderi. This aint funny.*  
  
*Ranma, theres no such word as aint, and youre acting without thinking again.*  
  
Then, suddenly, Anderi felt a thump on her head, and the street came up to meet her for a moment before turning black.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
The panda watched her daughters internal debate, and decided to knock out two ungrateful young boys with one street sign. A good, economical solution to a dual dilemma, that.  
  
He then picked the comatose body up, and was about to walk off when he felt the eyes of many people on him. He looked left, then right, then growled a bit, making people instantly forget seeing a girl arguing with a panda, then the girl stopping and having her eyes glow green, only to be knocked out by aforementioned panda. It wasnt anything they hadnt seen before, right?  
  
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"Daddy, How could you engage one of us to some boy weve never even met?"  
  
Soun didnt quite understand. Why werent they rejoicing as they should be? Surely this was for the good of the school, They should understand that!  
  
"Now, now, girls, calm down..."  
  
Suddenly, a commotion was heard outside: What sounded like a girls rather annoyed voice was raised in irritation.  
  
"Oh, that must be them!"  
  
Nabiki stood up, eager for a new face, hopefully a pretty one.  
  
"Ill get it!"  
  
And the rest is history, really. She came running back, eyes wide with fear, followed by a giant panda holding an irate bundle of red haired girl over one shoulder. Unseen by the Tendos there followed a ghost, watching the family with interest. Cute girls, especially the one with the short hair. Too bad she was terrified.  
  
Ranma was obviously being more tactful than normal with her next comment.  
  
"Put me down, Pop! youre scaring them witless!"  
  
The panda, surprisingly enough, appeared to agree, and plomped the girl unceremoniously on the floor.  
  
+"Well, were off to a good start."+  
  
Soun recovered first, amasingly, and walked carefully towards the girl.  
  
"Are you...?"  
  
"Yeah, Im Ranma saotome. Sorry about this."  
  
The next move was unexpected, at least by Ranma, as Soun promptly glomped him in a fierce hug.  
  
"Oh, son, finally you have come to us!"  
  
Ranmas pigtail went absolutely stiff, and Soun felt the person in front of him, nearly freezing in shock.  
  
+"My my, an enthusiastic fellow isnt he?"+  
  
The Tendos were briefly mystified by the panda, who began nodding at thin air.  
  
Then Anderi noted that the short-haired one walked up to Ranma, and started poking her in an uncomfortable area of her chest.  
  
"Well well, quite a cute boy youre engaging us to daddy."  
  
The spirit simply gaped when he saw Ranmas reaction, responding with a shyness he had never heard before.  
  
"Please dont do that."  
  
The voice was actually quite meek.  
  
Amazing.  
  
Souns reaction was not as subtle, though the emotion that caused it was similar.  
  
He fainted.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
It was after the Tendo patriarch had woken up and everyone was seated at the table, Anderi a few feet above it, that the conversation continued.  
  
"I was so sure that Saotome said he had a son..."  
  
"Quite a son, daddy, I mean look!" said Nabiki, again groping Ranmas private assets.  
  
"Could you please not do that?"  
  
Anderi agreed on that point. Cute the girl may be, but in no way was this in any way as nice as she looked!  
  
+"She must be a lesbian or something, feeling you up like that. Just ignore it."+  
  
Ranma paled a bit at that. The girl looked distinctly uncomfortable with this situation. Then, a friendly voice came to the rescue to the cursed girls surprise and relief.  
  
"You heard her, stop that Nabiki!"  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Akane was relieved to see that she wasnt about to see a boy in her home on a permanent basis, but she also felt sorry for the poor girl. She looked so uncomfortable, and Nabikis treatment wasnt helping.  
  
"Hi, Im Akane. You want to be friends?"  
  
+"Well, a friendly voice amongst strangers. You should accept this offer Ranma, you have almost no friends as it is. And that really includes me, as you well know."+  
  
Akane swore that she felt a strange whispering in her mind, as if someone were next to her wearing a walkman. She decided it was nothing, as people usually do, to the chagrin of many spirits around the world. She was glad to see the girl brighten up, was slightly surprised to see her glance momentarily upwards, then look back at her.  
  
"Um, sure."  
  
Akane showed the stranger her best smile, then spoke again. This was sort of nice, really. She was glad that it wasnt a boy in front of her.  
  
"Great! come on, Ill show you the dojo."  
  
"Um, okay."  
  
As they got up, Anderi gave Ranma a wink and flew behind Nabiki and, once there, pinched her bottom as hard as he could.  
  
She froze, turned to the panda on her side and, with a lot af anger, slapped the poor thing hard.  
  
The spirit loved doing things like this, getting his revenge against many people at a time with little effort. Being a ghost had its perks. Besides, what a butt!  
  
He then left the rather beaten panda behind and followed his current companion and her new friend into the dojo.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Akane led her new friend into the dojo, who seemed to be happy about something all of a sudden. it seemed as if she was not entirely shy.  
  
"Hey, you study kempo, right?"  
  
It seemed an appropriate question, the girl seemed to be good on her feet, and had probably received some training.  
  
"Um, a little."  
  
+"Oh, lighten up, Ranma. She probably just wants to spar a little, dont be so tense."+  
  
Again, Akane heard that strange whisper. Maybe there was a draft in here?  
  
Ignoring the fact that she was in a completely different building, thus leading one to the conclusion of a superhuman draft following unsuspecting people around, growing stronger when people have colds and getting super energy from influenza... ahem, she posed her next question.  
  
"Want to have a little match?"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
+"Told you."+  
  
Akane ignored the draft, and went into a basic stance, watching the girl in front of her. She didnt use any stance, just standing there with a bright smile on her face, completely relaxed.  
  
A more experienced fighter would have been rather unnerved by this, noting the slackness in the body, ready for instant action if needed. Also, there was the balance in her position, absolutely and completely steady, which would have made older men run in fear.  
  
Akane just wasnt up to that level quite yet, so she charged, thinking that she would go light on her. Thus she was taken by surprise when the girl move impossibly quickly, dodging the attack by a mile.  
  
Akane swiftly punched at her again and again, mixing in a kick for good measure, but she just couldnt get at the girl, who smiled that slightly cocky smile at her through the whole thing.  
  
Finally, Akane backed away, leaving Ranma rocking on her feet for a moment. So she wanted a bit of a challenge, huh? Lets see her deal with THIS!  
  
With a scream, she punched as strong and fast as she could, and her fist went right through the wall where the girl had been before. The cocky little girl simply jumped lightly over her, flipping a bit in the air, before landing behind Akane and putting a finger to the back of her head.  
  
Akane blinked, then turned around, completely baffled by this turn of events. Then she saw the girls smile and started laughing, seeing the position she had been put in. This girl was really good!  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Ranma could hardly believe it. Not only did she have a friend, they also shared a common interest! Of course, she had had a hard time keeping a straight face with Anderi acting like a monkey in front of Akane, but when her new friend started laughing, she joined in gratefully.  
  
+"Ranma, maybe you should tell her about your curse now before she finds out later, or she might get mad."+  
  
Ranma considered this, and then heard Akane say something wery, wery demoralising.  
  
"Im just glad youre a girl, Ranma."  
  
Oh, great.  
  
"Um, Akane?"  
  
Akane was about to walk back into the house, but stopped and turned around when Ranma spoke.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Ranma had a REALLY tough time now.  
  
+"Go for it, Ranma!"+  
  
"Well you see I, um, well..."  
  
Akane smiled a bit at the girls antics. She was still rather shy.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
Ranma was only slightly distracted when Anderi suddenly appeared with pompons and a (My GOD!) a skirt, singing +"Go, Ranma, Go! Go, Ranma, Go!"+.  
  
"Well, I ,ah, got this problem...."  
  
Akane was a bit curious now. What could have made her so reluctant to talk?  
  
"Its okay, Ranma, I wont tell anyone, if thats what youre afraid of."  
  
"Well no, everyone will find out later, but, ah..."  
  
Ranma was sorely tempted to either run away or strangle the damn ghost, who had begun dancing the YMCA dance. (You know, Village people style!)  
  
"Well, Im sorta worried that you, um, may not want to be friends with me anymore when you find out."  
  
+"Cluck cluck Baaawk! Chicken!"+  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Akane watched the strange girls face, looking for any sign of a joke. She didnt see any, but Ranma was staring with a rather irritated expression, mingled with some fear, to the side. She couldnt understand it, there was nothing there, right?  
  
"Ranma, thats ridiculous. How could anything cause that?"  
  
"Youll see."  
  
The girl was pretty dejected, and was looking sadly down at the floor.  
  
+"Jeez, Ranma, Its not as if shell kick you out or something. Relax!"+  
  
Akane decided to tell Kasumi about the draft later, and took the girls hands in her own.  
  
Ranma looked as if somene had run him through with a unicorns horn: utterly horrified and yet strangely fascinated. This was kinda nice.  
  
Akane smiled at the girl, and spoke.  
  
"Dont worry about it. Itll be fine!"  
  
And, after telling her to check with Kasumi about the guest room, she walked into the house, leaving a fascinated Ranma and a snickering Anderi behind.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Ranma was left with a rather warm sensation in her hands. It had been so long since she had any real friends that she didnt even know if this was what friendship felt like anymore. There had been Ucchan, and later Ryoga, but that was a long time ago.  
  
Ranma vame back to the present, and heard an amused ghost behind him. She decided that she was angry at him, and acted accordingly.  
  
"Watcha think, ya are, a watchamacallit, Poultrygeist?"  
  
"Thats Poltergeist, Ranma, I have no desire to terrify a bunch of chickens. And no, I was just having a bit of fun. when youre dead you tend to take any chance you can get, and watch your language young man!"  
  
Ranma simply stared, then threw a spirit ward at the ghost before going back in the house.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! get it off getitoff getitooooff!"  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Ranma followed Kasumi into the guest room, and was glad that Nabikis treatment seemed to be the exception rather than the rule. The room was spacious, but rather empty.  
  
"This will be your room now, Ranma."  
  
"Its, uh, nice."  
  
"Why thank you. Here, you must be all sweaty from the workout earlier."  
  
"Um..."  
  
Ranma held the towel that Kasumi had given him, and decided that he really didnt want to argue.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
"Akane, the bath is ready."  
  
Akane turbed around and saw Nabiki, looking a bit harrased, in the doorway to her room.  
  
"Um, Thanks, but whats happened to you?"  
  
Nabiki simply looked at her sister, not being able to express the feeling of having been pinched on the butt by a panda, and the contemplation of having it neutered.  
  
Akane saw the look on her sisters face and decided not to press the issue, for it was quite a scary sight.  
  
"Never mind. Ill go have the bath now."  
  
She walked past her sister and thought of the nice soak she could have after the practice earlier. It was better than thinking of Nabikis face.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Anderi was currently in the state known as severely pissed. He was not wery happy about being put into a lot of torment for simply having a little fun, though admittedly it had been on Ranmas expense. Luckily, he had run through a wall and the spirit ward had come off. And now, he was contemplating vengeance of the highest sort.  
  
He would embarass Ranma so that he could never look in the face of the Tendos again. He smiled as he thought. He knew just the thing...  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Ranma was about to walk into the furo when a hand reached up trough the floor and caused him to lose his balance. Thus, the girl fell ignobly on her butt. Then the spirit rose up in his full glory through the floor, once again in the guise of a Vengeful Spirit(tm).  
  
"Peekaboo!"  
  
"AGH! stop that you damn athropomorphic personification of idiocy!"  
  
Anderi was rather impressed, considering the circumstances. He had used that term before, and Ranma had perfectly copied his Insult Of Confusion attack while under duress. The boy was learning.  
  
"Look whos talking, you saucy little thing."  
  
However, no one could beat him when it came to the form of the Disgusting Suggestions Strike.  
  
"EEEEWW! GO AWAY YOU PERVERT!"  
  
Ranma backed up towards the tub, and at that moment, Akane walked in. Anderi saw his chance and pushed Ranma in. Oh boy!  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Well, Im taking a break. But who was this She that Anderi mentioned? Soon enough, my disciples, soon you will learn...  
  
More Rant: Should I continue this? should I use this as toilet paper? all opinions welcomed!  
  
BTW, I have not yet had a negative rewiev for either of my fics, and in total they number over 40. Woo! 


	5. Haunting the Tendo dojo

Been a while. Been working on my other fic, which has gotten far more praise than I ever expected to get for anything, ever. Also been painting models. I liiiike models. Mooooodeeeeeels...  
  
I'm thinking of putting up a homepage somewhere soon, so if you want to send anything (And I mean ANYTHING, from fan art to bananas) You may officially do so.  
  
Flames will have absolutely no effect on my current form as a small icky whitish blob, so feel free to send any to me at MrAndri@Hotmail.com. Also, feel free to review as you wish.  
  
  
  
Slightly Disturbing productions present  
  
A ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction By WhiteIckyThing  
  
Dead and Livin´it up  
  
Part 5: Haunting the Tendo dojo  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: If you think that I own any of these characters then you are more out of your mind than I am, which is practically impossible. I am simply not that original. Just ask Viz Video or the great Takahashi Rumiko. And no, I don´t own death either. just read my ramblings, and PLEASE don´t sue me.  
  
["..."] =foreign language  
  
#...# =panda sign  
  
*...* =telepathy  
  
+"..."+ =Anderi speaking in front of people that can´t hear him  
  
%&"..."&% =I'll be damned if I know, but it looks kinda nice  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
  
  
Some days are better than others. Sometimes it rains for a while, sometimes the sun shines. Sometimes the wind whips at your clothes, and sometimes a breeze blows gently through your hair. Some days are simply good, some are simply not so.  
  
Nabiki's daywas turning out to be a major disaster.  
  
First, her father springs the news that a potential fiancée is on the way, and that one of the Tendo sisters would have to marry this boy that none of them had ever met, including the one who arranged it.  
  
Then, the fiancée turns out to be a rather cute girl with red hair, and the master of the household (So to speak) faints. She apologized, but it was still a rather big shock, especially considering her method of entry, which was being carried like a sack by a huge panda.  
  
Then, as she noticed a strange draft in the living room, she gets pinched on the butt by said panda, which really was not something she had been expecting.  
  
Would anyone have expected it? I mean, a girl with red hair, carried by a lecherous panda, had arrived on their doorstep and said she was the boy one of them was supposed to marry!  
  
What would come next? They're from the circus, and want to set up their tent on the lawn? They are here as punishment for all of Nabiki's sins? They've been followed by an insane poltergeist hell-bent on ruining their lives?  
  
Nabiki was rather close to the truth in that last statement, the only error made in the choice of words. He was hell-bent on brightening their lives, but with the methods he used it amounted to pretty much the same thing. However, she didn't know that.  
  
What she did know was that she had thought she had seen a strange outline, as if from a person, momentarily in the air, and a few moments later a very loud scream had come from the bathroom.  
  
"YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
  
  
Anderi had held what for the sake of all of our sanity will be called his ears in preparation for the scream, but it was still pretty damn loud. Not that his... ears... would be damaged by this, or that he would hear her any less (A ghost needs not such sense limitations) but it was mainly for effect, and it worked, judging by the face that Ranma was currently displaying.  
  
Akane had, while fully clothed, walked in just as the spirit had pushed Ranma into the tub, and had seen the poor cursed individual turn from a naked girl into a naked boy right in front of her. It was pretty much what Anderi had hoped for when he had done this, and it was working better than he had imagined.  
  
Ranma, after seeing Akane running out of the bathroom, quickly got dressed and in his haste ignored the ghost that was following him around making a V for victory with his almost Goblin-like fingers. Yes, dear readers, Anderi's fingers are like those of the goblins in the Harry Potter movie. Can we get on with the fic now? Good.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Akane had entered the living room, and just sat there, completely paralyzed. Her first thought was that she would pound that pervert, but then she thought of how the pervert had been a girl just as she had entered the bathroom. She was so caught up in this that she didn't even notice the strange fat man that was sitting there, staring at her as if she were some sort of a weirdo. She didn't notice anything until the BOY came down the stairs, wearing Ranma's clothing.  
  
She decided to do the only thing she could think of doing  
  
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"  
  
+"*Snicker*"+  
  
I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry 'bout this.  
  
Akane looked at the boy, and realized that it was true. This really was Ranma. How, Why, When, Whatever, she didn't know, but this was Ranma and nothing was going to change that. She suddenly had a very disturbing thought. Was this the secret the girl had been so anxious about?  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Everyone had sat down by the table, Ranma looking subdued and staring at the table in front of him, Akane with a look of mingled anger and curiosity, Nabiki next to Kasumi, both wondering who the fat guy was, and Anderi, who was for once content to simply watch, in the air above them. An explanation was in order.  
  
The fat man spoke first after clearing his throat, and put on a serious face.  
  
"My name is Genma Saotome, and this is my son."  
  
+"Ranma."+  
  
"Ranma."  
  
Ranma didn't look up at the ghost, and definitely didn't look at Akane. He couldn't face her after what happened in the furo.  
  
Kasumi chose to pose the first question.  
  
"Are you really the same person as that girl?"  
  
+"Yeah."+  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Genma put up his serious sensei voice, and cleared his throat.  
  
"Well, where to begin. Ah, I know!"  
  
He picked Ranma up and threw him into the koi pond. Ranma-chan emerged, soaking wet and angry.  
  
+"Watcha do that for?"+  
  
"Watcha do that for?"  
  
Ranma was even angrier at the spirit. How did he know what Ranma was going to say? She wasn't THAT predictable, was she?  
  
+"Yes Ranma, you really are that predictable."+  
  
Genma immediately struck a dramatic pose, one hand in front of his eyes as if to conceal his sorrow.  
  
"Oh, the indignity. My son is cursed to turn into a girl!"  
  
+"Ranma, go get some water and teach the panda a lesson!"+  
  
Genma was splashed from behind by his daughter, who for once listened to the ghost's advice.  
  
"Look who's talking. You turn into a panda!"  
  
#Ranma! Weren't you ready to give up your life for the Art?#  
  
+"Not a very smart thing to say, Pandaman."+  
  
"My life, yes! My MANHOOD is another story!"  
  
The erupting fight was interrupted as Nabiki, a red tinge of rage showing on her cheeks, slapped the panda hard.  
  
"So it was YOU who pinched me!"  
  
+"Hee hee, this is going to be GREAT!"+  
  
"WHAT! SAOTOME; ARE YOU MOLESTING MY DAUGHTERS?"  
  
The demon head attack was quite scary indeed. Ranma nearly fell over, while the ghost crouched behind her making a strange little eeping noise.  
  
As Genma, in panda form, tried to apologize while being chased through the garden by Demon-head Soun using nothing but signs and the techniques of the Saotome school (including, at various points, attempting to do the Final Attack and the Crouch Of The Wild Tiger), Ranma sat down at the table, still looking slightly spooked after the Soun incident. Anderi simply laughed his head off, and it came to rest just in front of Ranma.  
  
What, didn't you take that literally? What I meant was that his head fell off and rolled on the floor, coming to rest in front of Ranma. Being a ghost isn't all fun and games you know.  
  
Ranma, sufficiently spooked by this, turned quickly to the rest of the Tendos with Anderi's laughter still going strong behind him and was immediately confronted with the angry face of Akane.  
  
"Are you really the same person?"  
  
Ranma, seeing the look of anger on her face, began to feel a strange sort of despair for what he knew would be coming: utter rejection.  
  
"Yah, like I said before, I'm the same girl as from before."  
  
"Why didn't you just tell me in the dojo that you were a boy?"  
  
"Ah, I already told ya why, didn't I?"  
  
Anderi put his head back on and watched the scene in front of him unfold. He noted that Soun seemed to have managed to somehow pin Genma by the pond and was interrogating him. He then looked at Ranma and saw that she was slightly subdued and would be very defensive if she got the chance. Well, maybe she'd need a little help later on. Akane seemed to be getting angry.  
  
"You still should have told me! I know you said you couldn't tell me, but-"  
  
"Akane, I am sorry for not telling you, but I was afraid that you might have thought that I was crazy, and I was also afraid that you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me if I told you."  
  
Akane blinked a bit. She couldn't see the girl's face, because she had looked into her lap when she had begun to speak, but she seemed to really mean it. There was something odd about Ranma's voice: it seemed to go into a more thoughtful tone and had shifted into a slightly lower pitch than usual.  
  
Ranma suddenly looked up, a small look of surprise and embarrassment on her face.  
  
"I, ah, would still like to have ya as a friend..."  
  
Akane was a bit skeptic: this was just another perverted boy, after all, but that look of slight pain in Ranma's face was something she couldn't really ignore, nor was the plea for a friend that she had heard from him in the dojo. Her voice was also back to normal, for some reason.  
  
"Well, okay, but don't you dare do anything perverted, you got that?"  
  
Ranma hadn't heard anything beyond the word okay. She suddenly had a large and genuinely happy smile on her face as she looked at Akane's eyes.  
  
"You'll really be my friend?"  
  
Akane was a bit taken aback by the enthusiastic response, and answered by saying the first thing to come into her mind.  
  
"Uh, sure, yeah!"  
  
Ranma's smile grew even wider, if anything.  
  
"Thanks. It's been a while since I had one. Come to think of it, I ain't had a real friend since Ukyo back when I was really little..."  
  
As the two new friends talked, Anderi looked outside and saw that the two masters had resolved their differences. As the two older men walked back to the house, Anderi winked at Ranma from behind Akane's back and Ranma nodded slightly while no one was looking. Anderi had really been a mouthpiece for Ranma there. She would have put her foot in her mouth faster than you could blink if Anderi hadn't possessed her and apologized to Akane.  
  
Being so pleased with himself, he didn't notice Kasumi gazing thoughtfully at Ranma as the cursed girl spoke with her sister. Anderi had, like so many others, underestimated the eldest sister's capability for observing the goings-on around her.  
  
She had seen Ranma's eyes turn slightly green for a moment, and decided that she would have to find out what that meant.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
One Jusenkyo explanation later, Soun was ecstatic. Even though Genma was coming too close to mimicking Ha... The De... The Master, his son would be perfect for his daughters.  
  
"It looks as if your problem isn't that bad after all, Ranma."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
+"You've GOT to work on your conversational skills."+  
  
The ghost was, as usual, ignored completely as Soun picked up a kettle.  
  
"When splashed with cold water you turn into your cursed forms..."  
  
Soun poured the scalding water on the panda, which took it stoically to Anderi's immense surprise, considering Genma's usual attitude to pain.  
  
"It needn't be quite that hot, Tendo."  
  
Soun then walked over to Ranma and attempted to pour some water on the girl, but she nimbly dodged it.  
  
"And when you're doused with hot water you turn back to normal!"  
  
"HOT water, not BOILING!"  
  
Anderi winced in sympathy, both because of the heat of the water, for he had never, while alive, managed to tolerate heat very well, but also for what he knew Mr.Tendo would be saying next. The happiness on the man's face completely gave him away. Only one person in the house seemed to have any real control over her emotions, and she was probably a closet lesbian. Not that he held it against her...  
  
As the ghost descended into fantasies, which would have made Akane not just mad but would probably cause her to faint with anger/disgust overload, Soun procceeded to give Ranma a very important choice.  
  
"This is Kasumi, She's nineteen. This is Nabiki, she's seventeen, and this is Akane, she's sixteen. Pick the one you want and she'll be your fiancée."  
  
Kasumi and Nabiki exchanged glances for about .01 seconds before making a unanimous decision.  
  
And yet the ghost was faster, which goes to show that even the smallest of thoughts can delay necessary action. It helped that the spirit in question rarely thought things out before acting, which had exasperated many people in its life and beyond.  
  
It was difficult, but not impossible, for the ghost to paralyze people with merely a touch. How he did it was unknown to him, and he didn't really care. What he did know was that he couldn't posess Ranma in his male form and had to act in some other way.  
  
Thus, he paralyzed the two elder Tendo girls, while frantically hoping that the small green haze in their eyes would go unnoticed. It was all up to Ranma now, and surely even he couldn't foul this up.  
  
"Wha- ya mean right now? B-b-but I don't even know them well! And why does it have ta be now?"  
  
Then again...  
  
"Boy, you must choose! This is a matter of family honor!"  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Akane was slowly becoming very angry. Anger, when sudden, is blown off easily in quick bursts, using methods such as applying mallets to heads. When slow, its more like a flood: far more destructive and with lingering effects. Well, maybe not quite like a flood; you don't get wet, unless the method used is higly esoteric, but you get the drift.  
  
Akane did not like the fact that one of the sisters still had to marry the guy, the fact that neither of them had spoken against it and the fact that she was being ignored.  
  
"Dad..."  
  
"Yes dear?"  
  
The oblivious face of the average male staring in the face of female wrath can be said to apply as a description of Soun's countenance at this point.  
  
"WHO SAYS THAT WE'RE READY TO BE MARRIED?"  
  
Ranma and Genma stopped arguing, which did nothing major except to allow them to watch the proceedings in relative peace. Saying relative, because there was nothing peaceful about what was happening in front of them.  
  
Anderi decided to release the girls, and ignored Soun's pathetic babbling, Akane's unreasoning anger and the confusion of the elder sisters in favor of talking to Ranma.  
  
+"Ranma, why don't you ask for a little time to decide? It couldn't hurt, and it would give you time to think things over."+  
  
Genma turned to the ghost, but before he managed to speak out in protest, he saw a great armored figure, black as midnight, spikes protruding from every available surface, wielding a great mace in one hand and a predictably black and spiky shield in the other. Anderi was back in Vengeful Spirit(tm) mode, and was not happy with Genma.  
  
+"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, PANDAMAN."+  
  
Thus, Genma decided to back away, the fear in his eyes as he stared at the apparition further puzzling the elder sisters, for of course they saw nothing.  
  
Almost nothing. Kasumi saw nothing, being busy as she was trying to defuse the situation between her father and youngest sister, but Nabiki thought that she had seen a great big armoured thing for a moment before disappearing. This, she thought, was not quite normal. She had seen an outline in the air earlier, and a scream had erupted moments later, and hoped that this would not be the case this time before berating herself. She was becoming superstitious all of a sudden, and that just wasn´t right. One of her lackeys – what was his name, Gosunkugi? – was obviously rubbing off on her, creepy as that sounds.  
  
With a small popping noise, the ghost turned back to normal and turned to Ranma with an innocent expression on its face, failing to notice the wide eyes and shaking hands of the person before him.  
  
+"Well?"+  
  
Ranma got a grip on himself – He was not afraid of some damn spirit, dammit! – and decided to follow the ghost's advice. It couldn't really hurt...  
  
"Umm, mister Tendo?"  
  
Soun and Akane looked at Ranma, both suddenly with rapt faces as if nothing had been going on.  
  
This served to unnerve everyone else.  
  
"Could ya, um, give me some time ta think this through?"  
  
"Of course, Ranma. This is a big decision after all, and it's not as if there are any other engagements to worry about!"  
  
Soun laughed at this, and so did Genma, but only Nabiki, Kasumi and the ghost saw the slight strain on the man's face, as well as the small drop of sweat running down his forehead. Before any one of them could comment on this, the head of the household spoke again.  
  
"I'll give you a week to make a decision. That way you can get to know them a bit better!"  
  
"Uh, okay."  
  
+"Mental note: coach Ranma in conversational skills within the next week."+  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Ranma lay on his futon in the guestroom as he thought about the mess he was in. He had one week to decide what girl he would be spending the rest of his life with. It is commendable to note that the thought of divorce did not enter his mind: he had made a promise, and he would stick to it.  
  
He just couldn´t decide which girl he liked best. Maybe he would have to do as Mr.Tendo said and get to know them a little first.  
  
He blushed slightly as he thought that if he had had to choose right then and there, he would have chosen Akane, before shaking his head. What was he thinking?  
  
He looked at his father, that stupid, ignorant man that had gotten him into this, and sighed as he thought that this was probably a ruse to cheat this family and leave them behind. Just like he had done quite often before. He had never used Ranma as a bargaining chip before though.  
  
How little Ranma knew.  
  
"Hey, Ranma, you should be getting some sleep. You may need it tomorrow."  
  
Ranma turned his head to look at the gaijin ghost. It looked as if he was preparing to leave, as he tended to do every now and then. Anderi had never explained where he was going or why, though.  
  
"Ya, I know, but..."  
  
"Thinking about this engagement thing?"  
  
"Yeah. I just don't know what ta do about it."  
  
"Ranma, you have plenty of time, and we'll figure something out eventually. I'm ready to offer all the advice I can give, and right now I suggest that you get some sleep. You'll think clearer in the morning anyway."  
  
"But... ah, okay. Good night."  
  
"Good night. See you in the morning."  
  
Anderi watched Ranma's breathing slowly even out as sleep settled over the cursed boy. He then flew out the window on his ghastly errand. There should be easier ways to keep himself in the mortal world, but there was simply no other choice. If he didn't do this, he would slowly become a mindless spirit, doomed to roam the earth.  
  
The ghost settled himself in a nearby alley, focused a bit, and slowly faded from view. Anything was better than becoming mindless, and so he would endure this. An uncharacteristically grim expression settled upon his face just as he disappeared completely, as if he were preparing himself for battle.  
  
  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
  
  
Akane tossed and turned in her bed as she thought about Ranma.  
  
This was not a usual situation for her; Akane, thinking about a boy while trying to sleep? Most unusual indeed. However, this was a special case.  
  
He was a boy. But he still hadn't taken advantage of the sisters, had apologized to Akane and was actually a pretty nice person. From what she had heard from Ranma, he had also led a very lonely life.  
  
She not only didn't thimk of him as a pervert, she actually felt sympathy for him. He had had very few friends, and obviously was in desperate need for another one.  
  
And She had promised to be his friend. And she would keep that promise, that much was certain.  
  
She felt herself blush slightly at the thought of this boy picking her to be his fiancée before she caught herself. What the heck was that? She didn't like him like that!  
  
She continually ran these thoughts through her head, and slowly became increasingly drowsy. Her last thought as she fell asleep was that Ranma had better not try anything perverted just because she was his friend.  
  
  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Nabiki listened to the tape playing in her recorder through her headphones again.  
  
She had, of course, recorded everything that they had said, and that was allright: the tape wasn´t damaged, and there were no anomalies.  
  
It was the last part that puzzled her. The recorder had been placed by the guestroom and in that particular part of the tape, Ranma was talking to himself. Or rather, talking to someone that wasn't there: He appeared to answer a couple of questions, and then resignedly go to sleep.  
  
Normally, she would have thought him crazy. But she had seen, twice no less, something indistinct appear right in front of her. And it hadn't been there before, so it must have something to do with Ranma.  
  
She decided that she would contact Gosunkugi tomorrow, and enlist his aid. This sort of thing seemed to be his area of expertise, and she was, though she would never admit it, worried about what the heck her father had let loose in the house.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Kasumi was also worried. Even as she prepared for bed, she thought of the green eyes on Ranma's face. Something wasn't right about that glow. And then there had been that strange feeling of someone pinning her mind down a little later. She doubted that Nabiki had felt it, but something had definetly been suppressing their minds.  
  
She got into her bed and touched the cross on her neck. She would have to ask the local minister about this. Something about the whole situation just wasn't right.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
Soun Tendo, before going to bed, had made a habit of praying at the family shrine in the dojo and meditating before going to bed. And now his meditations had taken him down a disturbing path.  
  
Soun was no longer sure that Genma was to be trusted. The man had pinched Nabiki on the rear, and although he had apologised the incident was too reminiscent of the Master for comfort.  
  
He was glad that Ranma had suggested the delay in making a decision. It would give him time to evaluate the two houseguests. The boy was competent, polite and quite bright, so there was little chance of him turning out like his fath... Wait. Surely he meant the Master?  
  
Soun's eyes opened, and he thought about this statement. And the more he thought, the more he came to the conclusion that the sentence was not a mistake. He had meant the boy's father.  
  
But then what was he to do? What did it all mean?  
  
He looked at the shrine before him, as if looking for answers. A single tear ran down his cheek, and he bowed his head in sorrow. He then stood up, bowed to his shrine and walked to his room. A good night's sleep was sure to clear things up.  
  
***********************************************************************  
  
And somewhere, in a forest in Japan, a fire had been lit.  
  
There was nothing remarkable about the fire itself. It was in a small, improvised pit of stones, and was crackling merrily, spreading its heat and light in all directions. What was more remarkable was the figure that had lit it.  
  
There, by the light and warmth of the fire, a girl was kneeling. She had gone down on one knee, and clasped her hands around a Christian catholic cross, recognizable by the suffering figure upon it. Her head, topped with shoulder-length white hair, was bowed in prayer and her eyes were closed. She looked about seventeen years old, though it could have been less.  
  
She wore tight black jeans and a sleeveless black t-shirt with a white cross emblazoned on the front. Over that she wore an old-fashioned and slightly travel-stained off-white trenchcoat.  
  
Behind her lay a backpack and a bedroll, and to her side lay a big sword.  
  
No, wait. Make that a BIG sword. It looked nearly five feet long, with another foot added by the hilt, and obviously designed for two hands. The blade was double-edged, looked as if it was fashioned of silver and was as broad as a dinner plate. It seemed impossible for the girl, with her slim arms, to wield such a thing.  
  
Yet, as she finished her prayer and picked up the sword without opening her eyes, it looked designed for none other than her.she held the blade in front of her, pointing straight up, and opened her eyes, reavealing an attractive amethyst colour. She was not quite as tall as the blade, missing about half a foot, yet she seemed to somehow dominate it.  
  
She swung the blade downwards, holding it with one hand in a straight line out from her, and seemed to be examining the blade by the firelight. The she spoke with a voice too harsh for her attractive pre-teen features.  
  
"I will find you, ghost. And when I have found you, then by all that is holy I shall destroy you!"  
  
She swung the blade impossibly fast in an arc behind her, and the trees that were unfortunate enough to be in the way fell, cut by the mighty blow.  
  
"This I swear upon the lord God."  
  
She proceeded to wrap the sword in some sort of canvas before laying out the bedroll and, setting down the sword within arm's reach, she went to sleep.  
  
  
  
A.N. Well, Who the HECK is that, you ask? You'll just have to be patient. All comments and suggestion are welcome, as always. Until next time, folks! 


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